My Cardio Revelations

I had two most interesting, and rather humbling, revelations today as the result of a seemingly insignificant moment. Thought I'd share.

As I was working out this morning before volleyball on one of the few elliptical machines that make up the gym, I found myself semi-creeping on the only other two people in the room--a mom (who couldn't have been older than 25) and the baby she was holding on her hip. Now...this so-called 'work out room' is a tiny corner of the gymnasium's stands, high above the surrounding court. So technically I was not truly creeping...just doing a little people watching I suppose. :) Either way, I continued to watch as this young mother cradled her little girl, walking around in circles to keep her entertained, and often setting her down to allow a little exploration. Eventually, as the tiny ball of pink was set down again, a fourth person entered the scene. Another college student (actually, a boy arriving for my volleyball class), stumbled past the little family as he made his way through the gym. Smiling and acknowledging the crawling baby while still continuing to walk by, she began to madly army-crawl after this guy. With all of her might, she attempted one of the gutsiest chase-downs I have seen since COPS. This resulted in no more than two feet of struggling movement before she reluctantly sat still, stretching her arms above her head...waiting...almost as if on cue...knowing that her mom would quickly arrive at her beckon to pick her up again. And she did.

Okay...this requires a disclaimer first. For those of you who know me, you know that I may be a little more fond of babies than any nineteen year-old should be. Not so much that I would think about one right now, don't worry...:), but I do frequent the baby sections of Target/Gap/Nordy's etc. whenever I happen to be near by. I just can't get enough of all the frills, pastels, and miniature outfits. Even toddlers get me. We have a daycare on campus and every time that I walk by (which I may purposely detour to after chapel...) I can't help but go up to the fence and either wave to the friendly, teeth-less faces, or else hold some sort of conversation about play time. Moral of the story: I love kids.

As I tried to fill my mind with something other than the huffing and puffing of my workout, I became absolutely entranced by the relationship between mother and daughter. All of my motherly fantasies aside, the utter helplessness and vulnerability of the child truly struck me. She was completely reliant upon her mother for everything. If this young woman so chose, she could have easily decided to herself, "Enough with this walking in circles", and set the child down once more, leaving it prey to anything that may have come along later. And yet, somehow, the child knew that by simply lifting her tiny roll-of-fat arms, her mother would be there again to lift her up to safety. No matter where she crawled to, her life line was a simple motion away.

I have heard it repeated many times in the gospels that we are "children of God," as Christ also summons: "Let the little children come to me." Now, I realize that these verses are in different contexts; yet, somehow I sense an allusion to the same concept. Yes, truly, in faith, God calls us to himself as sons and daughters. "Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God" (John 1:12). Who am I in Christ? I am his baby, in essence. But more than humanly begotten children that are subject to the flaws of genetics and parenting, a fearfully and wonderfully made child of Christ.

I often take to metaphors in my relationship with God--bride, servant, daughter. But this one, out of them all, seems to be most fitting. As clearly as I could feel the love between two strangers (in this case, mother and baby), interacting from far away and relatively oblivious to me, this picture does no justice to the parental figure of Christ. As much as I may already love children and begin to consider the great attachment I will have to my own some day, this still does not come close to the Father's love. And as loved and cherished as I may feel by my own incredible parents, their love is filthy rags in the light of who our Savior is.

Wow. That was my first revelation, packed into a small essay. The second (which will I'm sure appear slightly humorous to many of you) came mid-way through this scene as the baby attempted to chase down this cute, smiling college boy who had simply turned her way. To be honest, I am feeling a lot like this little girl a lot of the time--wondering after every decent boy that crosses my path, asking myself "Could he be the one?!" Mmmm...probably not. Despite realizing that these are not where my thoughts should be, I continue to seek humanly love. Not necessarily in the form of the look-at-me-tell-me-I'm-beautiful-take-me-on-dates-oh-and-pay-for-everything kind of way...but more searching for someone to be the object of my love. Hey, I warned you...I'm sort of pathetic...so if you need to take a moment to chuckle to yourself, be my guest. :) ...but here's where the revelation comes in. A few weeks ago, my mom had a dream that I got married. When I asked her to give me details, all she could tell me was that his name was Chris and that he was cute. Great mom. That narrows it down to about 203 million guys, and better yet, I don't even think I know a guy named Chris. And then it hit me (on that awful elliptical machine, of all places): it's not Chris. It's Christ. The guy that I should be pursuing every day, waking up and wondering about, falling asleep thinking about, dying to talk to, is Jesus. Jesus Christ. The one who has loved me far beyond any blind date. As corny as it sounds, it has become true for me. And when I continue to chase him as madly as any college girl chases boys, He will begin to fulfill every desire of my heart.

So, there it is. Father and boyfriend all wrapped up into one.
That was much too long. Hope you got something out of it.