The Valley Song -- Jars of Clay

You have led me to the sadness
I have carried this pain
on a back bruised, nearly broken
I'm crying out to You

I will sing of Your mercy
that leads me through valleys of sorrow
to rivers of joy

When death, like a gypsy
comes to steal what I love
I will still look to the heavens
I will still seek your face

But I fear You aren't listening
because there are no words
Just the stillness
and the hunger
for a faith that assures

I will sing of Your mercy
that leads me through valleys of sorrow
to rivers of joy

Alleluia, Alleluia
Alleluia, Alleluia

While we wait for rescue
with our eyes tightly shut
Face to the ground using our hands
to cover the fatal cut

Though the pain is an ocean
tossing us around, around, around
You have calmed greater waters
higher mountains have come down

I will sing of Your mercy
that leads me through valleys of sorrow
to rivers of joy
I will sing of Your mercy
that leads me through valleys of sorrow
to rivers of joy

Alleluia, Alleluia
Alleluia, Alleluia

Opposites Attract?

                                                                            
                 Something like that. I'll give you one guess as to which side is mine...

Some Spring Cleaning

Okay, okay...I  promised a while back that an (ever-exciting) update on my life would be coming soon. So, let me take care of a few housekeeping things before the last two months of school officially take over.

• Today: my last real day of Spring Break before I head off to San Diego again tomorrow (today?). It felt like the quickest day ever...and then I realized that it was only 23 hours. Thank you, Daylight Savings Time. Nevertheless, it was the best day I have had while home and was packed with the people that I love. 
• My hair: enough people are asking about it, so here's the due explanation. Yes, I died my hair blonde a month ago. And, yes, that was followed two weeks later by yet another Target box. This time of dark brown. Why? I figure it's just hair. It was honestly a spur of the moment decision and much better (you're welcome, mother and father) than the other options that trail boredom: tattoos, piercings, or trips to Mexico. A form of car-less, stranded, freshman fun...if you will. I have to say, though, that the lovely "chestnut brown" that L'Oreal promised me has now faded to a lovely...um...ginger. Guess I just wasn't meant for the dark side. 
• This summer: cannot come soon enough. Don't get me wrong, I have loved my freshman year. And exactly two months from now, when I am driving away from Point Loma with all of life packed away into boxes, I will be a mess. I have formed so many great friendships already that I don't want to lose any sort of connection with over the summer. However, I am ready to stop spending the money and start making the money, if you know what I mean. Since I got my lifeguarding certification, I have been applying all around Olympia, but am praying/hoping/more seriously praying that I will be able to work at The Valley. I'd really rather not go with options B or C, which include nasty community pools (AKA babysit and clean up after little monsters all day) and other situations which do not cater to my goal of making money/not being albino by the end of the summer (AKA 30 minutes away, indoor Great Wolf Lodge). But, I'll be happy (errr, joyful) wherever I'm placed. And even happier to be with my friends and family for good!
• My cat: I don't think has once left my side since I've been home. This includes eating, sleeping, and bathroom-ing.
• The rest of school: I'm finishing up the second half of my classes when I return to school on Monday, since we are on semesters at Point Loma. This means another 8 weeks of Calculus 2, Computer Programming, Psychology, and Bible. I really am enjoying my schedule this semester, as I did last semester as well. Calc and Computer Programming are where the majority of my work comes from, but hey, I can't complain, right? I chose it. Psychology 101 seems to be the joke of freshman year, but I have actually been realizing a lot about myself and others through it. We have "convocation" once a week (lecture), "small group" once a week also (a few freshman paired with a Psychology major), and "sections" (our individual teachers) twice a week--constituting this general ed class. And then there's Bible...or, for the second half of the semester, New Testament 101. For anyone who goes to my school, simply hearing the name John Wright evokes an array of laughs and fond comments. He's been great; it's honestly a talent to make the history and geography of the Bible somewhat interesting. At least, to a bunch of sun-hungry California kids stuck inside a basement at 1:30 four days a week. I'm learning so much from this class as well, but most especially how the Old Testament and New Testament are irrevocably intertwined.
• Big days: This past Friday, my brother turned 18! Shout out to the kid who has been, and not only by force, my biggest ally to this day. He's definitely a winner. I also officially turned nineteen and a half on March 12th...which is exciting not only for the fact that I will no longer be a "teen" in six months, but it also signals another approaching big day! One of my best friends is getting married on September 17th, and I have the honor of being a bridesmaid in her wedding. We ordered our dresses this week and it is really beginning to hit me that someone nearly my age is going to be LIVING with a boy. Cooking for him. Cleaning for him. Sharing a bed with him. Ummm, let me just tell you, even as I approach twenty, the thought of this all is absolutely beyond me. Which leads me to my last point...
• Me: I have realized, as of late, how much I really need to grow up. Okay, let's be honest, I have enough trouble remembering to clean my cat's litter box. Or not locking myself out of my house/room when I leave. I am so self-centered/concerned at this point in my life that I can't even imagine attempting to take care of anyone else as well, let alone a family. As ironic as this is going to sound, in order to take so much of my vision off myself, I need to be more attentive to my own spiritual and emotional growth. When I am strengthening the inward, I am so much better equipped for the outward. The rest of college is not going to be a time of pursuing potential Mr's, or "going out"..."just for fun." I feel the Lord strongly calling me to a season of independence and uninhibited devotion to Him in order to be a better servant to those around me.

Well, that's all in Maseyland for tonight...since Lomaland is still 18 hours, a plane ride, and maybe a little tsunami away. Have a blessed Sunday.

Praise. the. Lord.

Goodness, I'm blessed.

I got to spend almost all of today hanging out with close friends. The last few hours of my night have been spent in study, worship, and prayer with a few of the girls on my hall. Tomorrow, I will get to share my last meal for a while with these special gals, and then board a plane to see my family. The next week will be a time of enjoying them, friends, and the comforts of home. I'm just feeling showered with love.

Out of all of the blessings I am counting, however, one has been a fervent praise upon my heart: I am so thankful for men of God in my life that make me want to love Jesus more. I'm really not sure how it happened (well, I am confident that it could only be the ways of Jesus...yet these are still mysterious), but my close girl friends and I have been overwhelmed by the chivalry and sheer brotherly, Christ-like love of what we get to call our best guy friends. This group of guys, mostly older than us and some even into their mid-twenties, have completely reversed my mumbling, under-the-breath complaints that there are just no godly men out there anymore. It's so easy to point the finger when we feel we have been bruised. And, yet, there may be an even greater absence of women out there striving and seeking for the Lord. However, we do desperately need our brothers to lead us in truth and encourage us with their strength in our individual walks. They are vital to the leadership of the church. And, whether they recognize it or not, (or even read this or not...:)) the young men I can call my friends are continually encouraging my faith by praying for me, offering to give rides to church and elsewhere, keeping me accountable in my behavior, and just turning every single conversation back to Christ.

Praise. the. Lord. Please, girls, don't give up. Don't settle, one bit. There are guys out there who will treasure you and protect you because you are a woman after God's own heart. Ones who won't use your presence to build their pride or boost their egos. Your bodies will be a temple to them, and not simply a prize. I know. They will see past your outward facades, your insecurities, and your past. You will be more to them than a convenience or a selfish pleasure. I've seen it. Yes, they may be few and far between, and you may need to forego a few easy dates or shallow crushes in order to find them, but you will. Pray for your future husband, and prepare yourself to be a woman that serves him in light of your love for Christ. To quote one of these men at dinner the other night: "Ladies, don't for one second doubt your identity in Christ. To a man of God, a woman who is pursuing Christ is the most attractive thing there is."

For any men that are reading this, I'd encourage you also to be a leader by example for all of the women you encounter. You will never know the greatness of the impact your actions and affirmations have.

Love, to all friends!

Moments after this post, 11:45 PM, I received a text from one of my brothers: "Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." -Proverbs 31:30 Amen.